When Sami was a baby, she hated the bassinet and crib. Jeremy and I let her cosleep with us and loved it. She was such an extension of the two of us and never felt out of place in our bed. I was a very young mom and extremely indulging to Sami's every desire. She decided when she slept, when she ate, and when she played and it worked fine for us... until she got so big and wiggly that we couldn't sleep with her in our bed anymore. Then came the VERY LONG process of getting her to sleep on her own. It took FOUR years (she was 5 years old) until she was finally able to sleep the night in her own room. So I decided that I would not let that happen with my next baby.
Ally came along and she didn't like sleeping from the start. I still think she might have a bit of insomnia. I let her sleep in our bed for the last half of every night until she was a few months old and then decided to sleep train her. It didn't go well. She screamed every night until she fell asleep out of sheer exhaustion and then started again as soon she felt rested enough. Eventually, she got so worked up that she started gagging and and would throw up everywhere. We decided the cry out method was not a good idea and instead I would sit with her every night while she fell asleep and return to sitting with her when she woke in the night. It made for some long nights but at least she liked the crib when I was nearby.
Emmy was born in the midst of Ally's restless nights and I was so determined that she would not turn out like her sisters in the sleep department. I read "The Happiest Baby on the Block" and "Baby Wise" and set out to make it work from the start. I was still not as strict as I could have been about keeping her out of our bed. (I don't like to wake up to nurse at night...) I decided to sleep train at four months. But at four months, we were in the middle of Christmas and Jeremy was taking ten day trips to the other side of the world. I moved the date to the first of the year. On New Year's Day, we went to see Disney's "The Princess and the Frog" and started the longest, most exhausting part of my life to date. Ally was so scared by the movie that she woke up SCREAMING EVERY NIGHT and then would not go back to sleep. It didn't matter what room we were in. She was afraid of shadows (which are everywhere at night) so we had to keep the room pitch dark, which she is also afraid of. That lasted for three months and then took another year before we were able to get Ally to not wake up terrified almost every night. During all of it, Emmy became a cosleeper and an all night nurser because I was simply too tired to do anything else. I couldn't deal with two children keeping me up all night. Weaning her took forever but when it came time get her out of our bed, a friend had me read "The Sleep Lady Shuffle Method" which we used in part to get Emmy into a bed in her own room. I then used it again when I put Emmy and Ally in the same room and it worked great. Now the two of them will sleep peacefully all night (barring sickness or the occasional nightmare).
THEN CAME KASSI. We decided from the start that we would not let Kassi get used to being in our bed all the time. Luckily, she loved three things her other sisters weren't overly keen on: the binkie, the bassinet (with Nochi), and being swaddled. Four the first four to five months, Kassi was a great sleeper. She would sleep in my arms from about 8:30 to when I would feed her and put her in the bassinet around 10pm. Then she would sleep until around 4 to 5 am when I would feed her again. There were several nights that she would sleep all the way until 6 or 7. If she did eat in the night, I would put her back in the bassinet after and she would snuggle in and go right back to sleep. I followed Baby Wise from the start in that I would not let her nurse to sleep and always nursed her when she woke up. I would often put her in the bassinet awake so that she could learn to go to sleep without being held. She was an angel sleeper! And then she got too big for the bassinet and I had to move her to the crib. That was also around the same time that she started having some separation anxiety and started seriously teething (though we still have no teeth). Not good. She became a slightly less good sleeper but we got into a routine where she spent most of the night in the crib and the last couple hours in my bed. It worked. Until the January's "Perfect Storm." Then nothing worked anymore. I got lost as to what to do. I was so tired and emotional, I couldn't think straight. I tried doing the "Sleep Lady Shuffle" with her but decided it works better for older children. I did use it as a way to get her used to putting herself to sleep in the crib, though. And it helped us get down a bedtime routine and get on a sleep schedule (how I despise the sleep schedule but at some point it always becomes a necessity). Kassi is now the first to go to bed every night at around 7:30pm and she is on two set naps instead of three or four random ones. The sleep schedule and coaching her to get to sleep on her own were helpful but I was still not getting any sleep because I was there with her--just not touching her--while she learned to self-soothe. I got so tired with that that I finally just made the decision that I have such a hard time making. I left the room and let her cry.
She cried for 55 minutes the first night (I did check on her and encourage her a few times in there--after 5 minutes, then 10, etc.--though I don't think it helped much. It just made her madder). Then she slept for 7 hours. I discovered that her crying wasn't sad, "Why are you doing this to me" crying. It was mad protesting. I am sorry, but that made it easier to handle. She cried for 30 minutes the second night and slept pretty well. She cried for 30 SECONDS the third night. And didn't cry at all the fourth night. By the end of the week, she was sleeping all night! We had two incredible nights of sleep!!! And THEN, she got sick again. After two weeks of trying to not screw up the sleep training progress yet take care of a sick baby, Jeremy pulled the plug and convinced me to make her a cosleeper. I cried bitterly out of exhaustion and failure and then succumbed partially. I still put her to bed in her own crib because we have that routine down and she will go to sleep after a minute of protest. She just was waking up and staying up for hours in the middle of the night. So the plan was to start her in her bed and then bring her into ours when we go to bed. However, Kassi had other ideas. She won't sleep in my bed!!! Through all the sleep training, she learned that Mommy's Bed is where you nurse and play in the morning, NOT where you sleep. And she wouldn't let us rock her back to sleep. So she gave us no choice. We let her scream it out in the middle of the night. The first night she screamed for over two hours. The second night, over an hour. The third...well, I've lost track of nights. But I think we are on the mend. The last few nights she has still woken but goes right back to sleep after a minute or two instead of keeping herself awake. So we are finally finding something that works. And I am finally getting some sleep--thanks to Cherry Juice (my safe-to-use-while-nursing sleep inducer) and the "cry-out method" and antibiotics (she started to get an ear infection and I wonder if part of her problem hasn't been a sinus infection or something of the sort that's harder to detect...poor baby). Kassi is sleeping better at night and happier during the day. All my other children are healthy and happy sleepers at the moment. My husband is slightly less stressed at work and getting a decent nights sleep, thanks to ear plugs. And I am seeing light at the end of the tunnel and praying it's not another train.
